To Weight Watch or Not to Weight Watch?

The age old question...at least for me.

Sooo...lately, I've been feeling really depressed about the weight I've gained over the past few years, so I've been making small steps towards changing that. I haven't necessarily been eating right, but I've stopped eating as much, and I also cut down my fast food intake quite a bit. I don't exercise every day, but I try to work out at least 3 times a week. I take the stairs instead of the elevator (sometimes involuntarily), but I am making headway into changing myself.

However, I know some friends who have had success with Weight Watchers, and even some family members who have tried it, and now I'm wondering if it is for me. I think all the Jennifer Hudson commercials (damn that catchy song!) has finally broke me down to the point where I'm visiting the WW website more than I want to admit. After taking the free consulatation which told me I was obese (OBESE?!), I am even MORE convinced that this may be something useful for me. It has routine, accountability, and guidelines, all things that would be very helpful when its hard to lose weight/eat right. The only thing I'm not looking forward to is the $, the monthly fee is $18.95, add that to the cost of a gym membership fee...I don't know. Plus all the money I have to spend on healthy food?! Ugh. It's cheaper just to be fat.

What do you think?

If you've done/known someone who has done/or just have an opinion about WW and think its worth the $, please leave a comment!

xoxo,

Jay

The Only Black Girl In The Class

An essay I wrote back in my second year of undergrad...still applies today. I'd love to hear your thoughts!

<3, Jay

I liked college better when I was the only Black girl in the class. I know some of you may find this statement confusing, but let me explain myself, and then maybe you might understand.

I don't even know where to begin. As I sit here typing this message, so many thoughts are running through my mind. Living in a society where skin color allows most people to pass judgement on you is hard enough, but sitting in a classroom where you feel it happening over and over is the hardest thing of all. It never really became aware to me that I was Black or African-American until I was in a space where most of my peers looked nothing like me. I went to a predominantly Black elementary & middle school and grew up in a predominantly Black neighborhood, so all I knew was Black (except for the occasional student of Middle Eastern descent), and I didn't have a problem with that. When I attended a high school with a generous mixture of Blacks and Latinos, I felt a little insecure at first, but the number of the minorities seemed to balance out, and overall, we had a lot more in common than we thought. But coming to LaGuardia has made me feel my skin color in every sense of the word. In my first semester I was in a cluster, and our study topic was "Constructing Identity." This forced me to face my ethnicity head on, tackling all aspects of what makes me me- including race, gender, and social status. Sure, there were tension-filled discussions, offensive statements, stereotypes and other epithets, but it was my best semester so far- because I was the only Black (dark-skinned) girl in the class. I mean, I already stood out, because I was different looking, but I was also smarter, sharper, and more focused than a lot of my classmates. I wasn't only the Black girl; I was the smart Black girl. Professors knew my name. I sat in the front in every class. I went to class every day. I handed in my work on time and never got lower than a A-. I was exceptional, the one and only. I felt my identity had been created.

That was a year ago. This semester, things changed. I walked into my classrooms and found I wasn't the only Black girl, and I wasn't the only smart one. Always looking for a challenge, I continued to do me. I go to class every day, I hand in my assignments on time, I sit in the front of the class, and once again I was exceptional. But soon professors started confusing me with the other Black girl that sat next to me. He gave me her graded tests back. He looked at me and called her name on the roll call. He called on me to answer a question and called me her name. He called on her to present her project and suddenly she was me. Thus, I was stripped of my identity. I noticed it wasn't happening nearly as often with girls of other ethnicities as it happened with us Black girls. Is it not enough for me to sit front of your face every day, hand in A-quality work which you praise me for, and to contribute valuable input to class discussion, all so you can have the decency to learn my name? Are you a person perpetuating the stereotype that all Blacks look alike? Whatever it is, I liked it better when I was the only Black girl in the class. Then, I was somebody; not just another Black face in this minstrel show sometimes called college.

oldie but goodie..poetry performance!

Hi loves!

I just wanted to share this video from a show I did back in Februrary called Strictly Flow 2012. It was hosted by the African and Black Diaspora Studies department at DePaul University, and although I did not compete, I had the privilege of completing the opening poem! :) This is part 1 of the show, and my performance, but if you want to see the whole thing, the link to the YouTube video should be at the end of the video. This piece is called "Woman, Revived." Enjoy :)

<3,

Jay

flavaaaa

quick poem I wrote at work...I think I feel a series coming on...hehe :)


--Jay

writer's woe: (an idle mind is the devil's playground)

i cannot breathe.
my heart is suffocating its beats but does not bleed my heart is suffocating it beats but does not bleed
you are my lung.
you metaphysically morph
morphined thoughts into metaphors
mixing memories wiith things i remember.
you pump
the oxygen into my brain that
allows synapses to fire like fighter jets
a true war of the mind
ssssssss suffocating
your absence cuts off cappilaries
my heart is suffocating it beats but does not bleed
the Hester Prynne lettered hue onto these dead trees
i cannot breathe
you have collapsed and i cannot live
my heart is suffocating it beats but does not bleed
but
i
 
      stilll
                                       manage
                       to
leave a trail.

Hair Tut #1 !!

Hi lovebugs!

I have my first hair tut here for you all! It's a style I have been rocking for the past week, and I love it! Never gets old :) It's a classic style to wear to any occasion, from the most formal to the most casual! And unlike the other vids, NO TALKING! lol, enjoy <3

love, Jay :)

100 Poems Challenge!

Hey world,

I'm back after a loooongggg (but not intended!) hiatus to let you all know that I have a challenge, and maybe if you're a writer you can take it too.

The goal is: to write 100 poems by the end of this year.

For some, this may not be extremely hard, but for me, it is, since I am SUPER busy with school, work, prepping for graduation, my eboard and member organization duties, blah, blah, BLAH.  I'm tired. Sometimes lazy. Most of the time, unmotivated to write anything because I just want to sleep or watch Netflix all the time.

Lately, I've been going through a dry spell with my writing. What caused it? I have many answers for that:

1. Rejection. I submit to journals, contests, scholarships, and internships frequently, and as an English major they always ask for my writing samples. Now, I don't know if it's my content, structure, or what, but my stuff just has not been well-recieved past the stage and the classroom. That has left me feeling really insecure about my writing, and I end up with that "why bother" mentality.

2. Stress. Weird, since this used to be my biggest motivator in high school! But lately, the pressures of real life have found me not wanting to venture off into the poetic, or fictional world. I am really preoccupied with my actual self, I haven't had time to speak to my inner writer.

3. Static content. Simply, I don't feel like my writing is going where it should be. I still feel like I write like I did 5 years ago. Not good.

4. Other poets. Lol, this one is just silly, but it's true. Other poets (especially ones younger than me) make me nervous. They're so dope!

These 4 issues have been the biggest things holding me back in my writing process, but now that I've identified them, I think I'm on the road to completing my 100.

until next time,

jay