Why College is for Suckers & I Should Have Worked at McDonald's (Happy Winter)

Why college is for suckers and I should have worked at McDonald’s

By Jaida Triblet

Take a few moments to look back on your life. You’re born, and your parents have huge hopes for you; they want you to grow up to be an upstanding citizen, get married, give them grandbabies, possibly make them rich – but the one thing they want you to have is something they themselves may have not had – a college education. If your parents are like mine, chances are, they know nothing about how the actual process of college works – so when it comes time to apply, they’ll give their input and sign FAFSA’s, but you may be pretty much on your own in working out the logistics. So who does a young, hopeful, naïve teenager on the brink of graduation turn to? More than likely, there have already been teachers, principals, and other educators bombarding you with college info since you still had snack time at school. Remember, your fourth grade teacher who always said that you had to understand fractions if you wanted to get into a good college? Exactly. They brainwashed you into thinking fractions was a major, and everything you did from that point on would affect if and what college you went to. So, fast-forward to the last semester of your senior year. You’ve already heard how important college is.  I got questions and statements such as- “You have to go to college if you want to make a lot of money. Besides what else are you going to do with your life with a high school diploma? Manage a McDonald’s?” Looking back, I should have taken that idea and ran with it. Had I been managing a McDonald’s right now, living of the slaving of money-hungry, saggy-pants wearing, Nicki Minaj worshipping teenagers, I would be living in a penthouse on Park Ave right now. Instead of where I am now- fresh out of college with little experience, not many connections, a liberal arts degree, and a student loan balance that could pay for two penthouses on Park Ave. Like many of us, I listened. I listened to the teachers and educators, who told me I had to go to college, pursue my dreams, learn something other than a trade. What they were telling me was that I had to make myself virtually unemployable, because while I was in class learning about the rhetorical techniques Shakespeare used to convey tropes and themes in Taming of The Shrew, someone was somewhere learning how to wire electrical outlets, or how to do medical coding billing. They would be hired within 6 months of graduation. Me, on the other hand – well let’s just say employers are not lining around the block waiting to hear me discuss Shakespeare. Don’t get me wrong. I loved college. It was a sound and worthy investment, chock-full of tremendous opportunities and experiences I would have never had had I not participated in it. However, I see the world much differently now. I was told that college was a guarantee to a successful future. What I learned was that college is a gamble in which you risk that success depending on what major you choose, what internships you do, or what connections you make, which means, nothing is absolutely certain after you graduate except that fact that you will owe Uncle Sam some money and you will gag at the smell of tequila shot. While college taught me some useful techniques that will put me ahead of the job-searching competition, I wont lie - I wish I had chosen a more marketable major, or had been better at math or science and had not loved books so much, or had listened to my fourth grade teacher. But although I’ve incurred enough debt of someone twice my age at this point in life, I’m always open to new experiences, and stay hopeful about success in my future. I wonder if McDonald’s is looking for managers?